6 Tips to Create Your Own Happiness

I was the kind of person who used to depend on others’ validation for my own happiness. I always felt like if people did not recognize me, then how could I be happy? And this weakness of mine gave me low self-esteem, anxiety, & depression. It took me many years and my first ever heartbreak & sufferings to make me realize that it’s only me who is responsible for my own happiness. In this article, I am going to share some tips to make your own happiness which I have learned through my toughest time.

1. Have a Goal in Life: Having a goal in life gives life a meaning & direction. Otherwise, you’ll become like a ship without a radar. Not having a goal makes you lazy & fills your brain with unnecessary thoughts. Not having a goal brings unnecessary stress about the future & the present. Goals give you something to strive for. Divide your goals into smaller tasks. When you complete the smaller tasks one after one, your brain feels the success for those achievements. Remember, Achieving progress towards your goals boosts your confidence and overall well-being.
2. Practice NOT Taking Anything Personally: In the book “The Four Agreements” written by Don Miguel Ruiz, he wrote about not allowing the words, actions & opinions of others to negatively impact your sense of self-worth and happiness. Often it’s very tough for us to avoid the negative words or behavior from our close ones. But we have no other options but to listen & face them as we are surrounded by those toxic & negative people. But at the moment you decide to stop taking things personally, you detach yourself from criticism, rejection & judgement from others. Instead of reacting & defending, close the door for them. Keep a distance. Make it a habit to not take anything personal. It’s a waste of time & energy. Remember, people behave the same way they are inside.
3. Stay Away From People Who Lower Your Energy: Do you remember the quote that, “If you have 5 millionaire friends, you’ll be the 6th one to become a millionaire”? You become like those you surround yourself with. It is important to surround yourself with people who appreciate you, influence you positively & minimize exposure to people who drain your energy. Because people you spend time with can significantly influence your mood, energy, mindset & overall well-being. So, anyone who lowers your energy, stay away from them.
4. Always Speak Positive About Yourself: You are a spiritually powerful well-being. And your thoughts & words have so much energy. How you talk about yourself (both internally and externally) significantly influences your confidence & well-being. It is you who has to validate yourself at first. Self-validation boosts confidence & contributes to happiness. So always speak positively about yourself. It has so many benefits.
5. Never Compare Your Life’s Journey With Others: Remember, there is none in this world who has the same journey as you. Your life, your journey, and your challenges are different. Never ever compare yourself with anyone. When you focus on your journey without comparing it to others you fill yourself with gratitude for the blessings & opportunities of your life. You start to appreciate your own experience, your feelings, your perception of reality. Comparing your life with others can lead to envy, bitterness, frustration & ultimately a sense of unachievement. Rather than comparing your journey with others, foster gratitude, embrace your uniqueness, minimize envy & celebrate your own individuality & focus on your own goal. Rather than feeling threatened by someone else’s success or achievements, trust your own journey. God has a better plan for you.
6. Expect Less From Your Loved Ones: Expect less from the people you love because they also have their own issues. But it doesn’t mean to lower your standards and start accepting less than you deserve. Your loved ones are also humans. They have their own journey & problems as you. From your side, do the things for your loved ones which you expect your loved ones to do for yourself. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Only keep expectations on yourself. And if after doing so much for the loved ones, you don’t get back what you deserve then instead of getting disappointed start doing for yourself.

At this point, I must say happiness is a journey not a destination. It’s a practice. In the context of happiness, the Quran says, “Be content with what you have”. And that’s basically the key to experience happiness. Expect less from others. Start doing for yourself. Try to achieve smaller successes than achieving bigger goals. You’ll be happy.