Friendships can take apart for various reasons. As we grow up, various personality and ideologies, takins a stand for someone you dislike, or breaking a personal promise can lead to a break in friendships. In this cases friendships are initially rifts, and sometimes they are resolved. However, unfortunately, there are times when the friendships completely falls apart.
A breakup in a love relationship can be predicted, but there is no prediction before a breakup in a friendship. Why would someone with whom you’ve grown up since your school days suddenly disappear from your life?
University student Arshi (pseudonym) shared the harrowing experience of breaking up a friendship in her school life. In her 24 years of life, she has witnessed the rise and fall of many relationships. However, her perspective on the breakup of a friendship is entirely different.
She said, ‘If you ask me, I’d say breaking a friendship is more painful than breaking a love relationship. Friendship is such a personal thing, and the bond is so strong that when it ends, you slowly start losing yourself. Friends share many common interests, have the same passions, and most importantly, friends are always trustworthy. When your partner betrays you, even though it’s extremely painful, it’s not entirely surprising. But betrayal by a friend is truly unexpected.”
Arshi further added, “More difficult than the separation itself is overcoming the pain it brings. The breakup of a friendship leaves wounds just like the end of a romantic relationship. However, with time, you can heal these wounds, even if no one teaches you how. Over time you will learn a lot about yourself from making good friends. I have now learned to check good and bad friends.’
The perspective of older individuals on friendship breakups is quite profound. Nima Rahman (pseudonym), 45 years old, said, “As you age, you generally don’t lose friends. But if it happens, it’s usually for something significant. If at this age you lose a friend, I’d say they were never truly a good friend! The main reason for friendship breakups is usually ego. If we see that a friend isn’t showing respect to me or my family, or isn’t valuing our hard work and efforts, that’s when friendships tend to break. A breakup in friendship is a serious matter, such a separation does not happen suddenly.’
Nima believes that overcoming the sorrow of a broken friendship is quite difficult at this age. She further said, “It’s not easy. Accepting such situations is very hard. You’ve known someone for a long time, and one day, they suddenly drift away! If both of you are mature enough, it’s possible to resolve the issue. Otherwise, there’s no option but to say goodbye to the friendship.”
There is no easy way to overcome the sorrow of losing a friend. The only solution is to give it time. The pain of a broken friendship is just as heartbreaking as losing a friend forever. However, the difference is that even though the friend is still in the world, you are grieving for them.
Time is both a curse and a blessing. As you form friendships with new people, you may realize that the old friend you lost wasn’t as bad as you thought. The breakup of a friendship teaches you what qualities to look for when forming new connections. This helps you find like-minded individuals.
Stepping away from a friendship can sometimes bring relief. Just like romantic relationships, friendships can also become toxic. You won’t realize how harmful such a relationship was for you until you step away from it.
Breakup in friendships can may happen, and sometimes they are fated. So it should be simply accepted. Breaking up a relationship means opening up a new relationship. We can use the difficult time of a friendship breakup to change ourselves.
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