“Even the ‘best couple of the time’ are often seen falling in love with someone else! Like many others, you may also wonder, ‘They were happy, so why did this happen?’”
Sharmin Haque, a psychologist at Square Hospital Limited in the Dhaka, says, “The specific reasons behind such shifts in relationships cannot always be explained. However, it may happen due to the workings of the part of the mind that continuously presents us with endless desires. Even when everything seems to be in place, a person may still feel a sense of lack—this feeling can lead someone to become attracted to another person outside of their partner. In some cases, there might also be certain deprivations in family life, which may not be apparent to others in the social sphere.”
Love Hormone
One of the main reasons for the arrival of a third party in a relationship is the search for novelty, the feeling of a different kind of attraction. Many people cannot resist the experience of falling in love again, drawn by the thrill of it. Scientifically, as a relationship ages, it may no longer trigger the same release of pleasure hormones in the body as before. For example, oxytocin is also known as the “love hormone.” It is produced in the hypothalamus of the brain and stored in the posterior part of the pituitary gland, from where it is released when needed. When attracted to the opposite sex, the levels of oxytocin increase along with dopamine and serotonin in the brain, creating feelings of love.
Changing the color of the clouds of the mind
Various thoughts play in a person’s mind just like shadows of different colors. We cannot always discreetly think about all of them. The subconscious mind also undergoes multidimensional transformations. So it can happen that someone who is attracted to someone else despite being in a ‘happy’ relationship, is not able to say why, exactly how the third person came into his life. Just ‘liking’ a person can turn into ‘love’. As people age, changes occur in the body, and the desires of the mind also evolve.
Differences in physical needs
According to a study published on Marriage.com, one of the main reasons why men are attracted to other women is the inability to naturally accept physical changes in their female partner due to motherhood, age or any other reason. Differences in physical needs of the two also often invite third parties into the relationship.
Imprints of the Past
Some people get deeply involved in romantic relationships before marriage. However, not all relationships lead to marriage. Even though someone may temporarily find happiness by marrying another person, leaving behind a past relationship, they might still experience nostalgia for their old love at some point in life. If they meet someone who bears a resemblance to their ex, they could fall in love with this new person. Additionally, some people may directly “unblock” their ex from their minds and social media, rekindling the old relationship. In this way, the past can leave its mark on the present!
Taking a Marital Relationship for Granted
Over time, every relationship evolves, and it’s important to keep pace with this evolution. Even though responsibilities towards family and children increase, it’s crucial for couples to maintain their vibrancy as partners. If one partner regularly falls asleep quickly after a busy day without engaging with the other, the neglected partner might feel hurt. If someone feels deprived of a few words or a gentle touch, emotional clouds of hurt may gather. When one partner takes the relationship for granted, the other may seek comfort from a third party. Even if they start interacting with someone just to lighten their heart or for conversation, unknowingly, seeds of love might be sown. This connection or “just friendship” could even develop into a new love, especially in the virtual world.
Final Words
No matter how many ups and downs come in life, stability in a relationship is always desired. Therefore, it is the responsibility of both partners to be attentive to the relationship. A relationship is like a tree—there is no substitute for regular care. Only then will new buds, flowers, and fruits bloom with the changing seasons. Forgetting the promises made when two people commit to a relationship is unfair. It’s important to take the initiative to do the little things that make your partner happy. Even if thoughts of a third person arise, learning to control oneself is crucial. You must maintain control over any involvement with a third party, keeping it within limits. If necessary, seeking therapy for the mind is also a wise option.
